Adventures with the V-Becks: Clark at 10 months…the turning point…almost o-n-e...and 7-9 month catch up!

{Written on February 10}

Dear Clarky,

My heart could burst with love for you! With each day you make my heart pound harder and my love grow stronger. Maybe it's the way you bashfully turn your face when I tickle you in your car seat, or maybe it's the way you tilt your head back and smile with a toothless grin that lights up the room while I am feeding you. Yes- that's right, when I am feeding you…you are finally eating solid foods buddy! I am so proud of you. You started about 2 weeks ago and since then you have dropped your nursing sessions down from 7 times a day (2-3 of those throughout the night) to only about 4 a day (only during the day and sleeping all night). While a month ago I could hardly wait for that, tonight at 11:22 pm as I write this, my heart is heavy. I know your baby days are numbered now. You have blessed me with being what I lovingly referred to as an "eternal infant". You went 10 months only nursing, never taking bottles, not getting any teeth and just being simply adorable. While at times (okay, many times) I felt exhausted and wished for nothing more than a 6 hour stretch of sleep, now I'm thinking I would trade it all in a heartbeat and go back to they way it was, just a little longer, just to hold you again so tiny. We've spent so many nights together in your room, you falling asleep on the nursing pillow on my lap and me waking up 2 hours later to find us together, your little chest slowing raising and lowering and the sweet sounds of your deep sleeping breaths filling the room. It was hard, very hard and I did complain, and now I am sorry that I did. I love you so much. I am so grateful to be your mommy and anything hard is really just a gift, a gift of being with you-no matter how hard it is.

I really can't come to grips with the reality that we are 10 weeks away from your first birthday. Why do I find this so sad? I just don't want to let go of you. You are my baby. My last baby. I know what the next year will bring, and as wonderful and as beautiful as it will be to see it play out, I also know how hard it will be to truly remember you at this size. To truly remember what it feels like to pick you up from your swing and feel you hug with with your whole body. You squeeze me with you little hands, press your chest and tummy against me and squeeze me with your legs and you often follow it up with a big open mouthed kiss as you shake your head left and right letting out the sweetest little voice. You are full of love and you are so good at showing it. I hope you always hug me like that, never stop, okay? :)

It has been a sudden change over the past few weeks. You have started eating like a big boy, you have started sleeping all night, you are learning how to play with your sister and also how to handle her excitement to play with you...that often leads to her knocking you down with her attempts to show her abundant joy and affection. She was so excited about your 10 month photos that she jumped right in...you weren't too sure about sharing your photo session with her though, hahaha!

Here she is trying to comfort you...the best of intentions I promise....she sure does love you!

You are pulling up on things and just today you crawled into Claire's chair for the first time. You looked so happy, like you've been working on it your whole life-maybe because you have!

I have fallen behind on your monthly posts the past 3 months and I am ***trying*** to give myself grace about that. It's been kind of crazy here! We had some very stressful times at Daddy's work back in September that led us into the busy holidays and then into the new year and Claire's birthday and somehow we are already in February and I am just pulling my head out above water. It's non stop all day here from 7am-8:30pm and I knew my time was stretched so I chose to spend it all just living with you…just being in the moment and soaking you up, and not as much blogging about everything we were doing. But- things are getting back to normal and I have really missed sharing my heart with you! I have taken pics of your every month and to be honest…not much changed during my hiatus. You kept on nursing and being the "eternal infant". :) Here you are sweet boy!

{SEVEN months}

{EIGHT months}

Clearly not in the mood for pics....just wanting to put toys in your mouth and roll around in your chair, which is perfectly appropriate for your 8 month pics I suppose! ;)

{NINE months}

This is the month I attempted to trim your hair for the first and most likely last time! I apologize about that....it was truly my best effort! We will leave this to the professionals from this point forward!!