2.5...half way to five...

My sweet baby has grown up and turned two-and-a-half on me. 

No, it's not okay...but yes it is at the same time.  It is with a heavy heart that I realize she is half way to kindergarten...half way to a world where she will no longer by my side and safe in our home, influenced only by those whom we choose to surround her with day after day and into a world where she will be her own little person, like the kind I used to teach, only much different, because she is my baby.  This first half went so fast, I cringe at the thought of how fast the second half will fly by.

Knowing this makes me want every moment to last a little longer, to count a little more and weigh a little heavier.  It makes me more purposeful in my actions and in my words.  This is my chance to fill her up and pour as much into her as I possibly can and hope and pray I have done my job and done it well.  Pray that she will be kind and respectful to her teachers and peers and be strong in her heart and know who she is and what it means to be a good person, to help others and to reach out to those in need.

This is my job.  I dedicate my life to it and it is the hardest job I have ever had.  2.5 years old isn't easy. It comes with a lot of independence, strong willed desires and Claire's own ideas about when things should happen, how many more times we need to do something and how many more minutes until we can get out the door.  As a mom, I continue to find new ways to redirect, moments to teach, to help understand, to guide, or to just stop and "be" in the moment with you.

I can not say it enough...there are never enough days with you.  I have so enjoyed our life together since you were born.  Up until this point we have not been committed to any strict schedule.  We set our own pace, plan our own activities and make memories together everyday.  In just 4 more days I will be dropping you off at Preschool for the first time.  I am SO exited for you to meet new friends, learn new things, go to chapel, PE and music, study exciting thematic units and have special days at school.  I had planned on starting you next year, but a few weeks ago it just hit me...you are ready...you are soooo ready for this.  You want to learn, experience and do so many things.  I find myself feeling like I just can't give you enough when I am trying to meet your needs and Clark's needs and I just know how much you will benefit from this program.  You'll be there two days a week, from 9-2.  We have toured the school and you LOVE it.  Every time we drive past it you say, "There is my preschool!  Is my teacher in there?"  I have been praying for your teacher and for your class and that it is a good experience for everyone.  I can't wait to hear what you have to say the first day that I pick you up...but I know the moment I drop you off and walk back to the car without you it will feel like my feet are sinking into the pavement because my heart will be so heavy.  I won't let you see that though.  I will smile for you because I am so proud of you, so excited for you and I can't wait to see you shine your light on all your new friends and teachers.

Aside from starting preschool next week,  2.5 has been a big half of the year in so many ways.  Your brother Clark was born, our puppy dog went to heaven, and we are building a new house.  Lots of changes and lots of new things to adapt to, but you are doing great!  You are full of energy and go non stop all day!  August has been HOT so you've enjoyed getting to watch more TV than usual and you are in love with Rapunzel/Tangled (I have to fast forward a lot of parts though) Tinkerbell, and Sophia the First.  You also LOVE to bake with me and take bubble baths.  Your favorite breakfast food is a cheese omelet and a breakfast shake you and Daddy make in the blender.  You love to color with chalk on the driveway and play outside.  You love to open packages from the mail, build forts, color, play with play-doh and play dress up.  Your favorite color is dark pink and you always tell me my favorite color is light pink.  Lately you've been giving me hugs and kisses and then telling me to save some in a box for later that you pretend to have and pretend to open, drop them into and then hand to me.

When did your hands get so big and your legs so long?  The bigger you get the harder it is to remember you when you were so small.  I never knew how it would feel to experience such joy and such pain at the same time watching you grow.  JOY for the little girl you are becoming and PAIN for the days of baby Claire that we are leaving behind.

Everyday I  tell you these 4 things

1- "I always love you...no matter what."

2- "I'm always here for you and I'm always here to help you."

3- "God made you just how you are, there is no one else like you...there is only one Claire Bear."

4- "I love you to the moon and back...the big one...outside...in the sky."

I love you sweet girl!  Let's try to make the rest of age 2 go A LOT slower...okay!  Mommy doesn't want you to grow up quite so fast...okay????